Double D&Ds

Well, I'm fresh back from anger management and, strangely enough, have a newfound appreciation for the perfect blend of pharmaceuticals. In fact, taking the blue pill twenty minutes after the green has this strange effect of putting me in a f****** gregarious mood. These doctor octos or whatever the f*** keep telling me this shit will mess with my sex drive, but no sir, it does the opposite. And I'm telling you, when I've got to beat the war drum, I need a bit more than what reality tv is pushing. C'mon. Dumbasses on the Jersey shore? I could find a caravan of bimbos at the local fair. Real sexy? Now that takes skill. And a will to thrill. Real sexy is about defying standards. So when we talk nerdy girls, I'm not talking some calculator dweeb discovering the finer art of curves. I'm talking taking the dweeb and making her into a fairytale princess. Or a slut. Pick your reality poison.

Coming this spring, to Fox naturally, is this show about a group of sexy supermodels dropped into this dungeon, and forced to play this game all you little bastards call D&D. Things, of course, don't go to plan. There is lots of crying. Whining. Flirting with roleplaying dweebs, all for the American Dream of winning a Jeep Wrangler: Black Ops Edition vehicle. Nice product placement Fox, classic shit. The point of this show is to make beautiful women be brought low... make them stoop to nerdom. Then, for a second, have them like it. Naturally, if and when this happens, vote their spoiled ass off the show. Classic pump and dump, as Patty Hewes would say bitches.

Roleplaying and supermodels is the perfect pitch for a reality show because it already works. Look at Emma Watson. Well, now that she is legal, she is kinda sexy. Before, if you said that, the party van would be on its way. Point is, if you find a sexy girl, put her in some roleplaying/fantasy shit, the fanboys will go ape shit. And so will the nerd girls. But this demographic, not enough to pull of a good enough 18/49. Bullshit, I know, but those are the cold hard facts. So, remember this one... get a little teen drama in there. Two of the girls actually fall for this dweeb because he was sensitive enough to loan both of them a mace +1 to attack this goblin. And both, umm, reciprocated in scenes with plenty of pixelation and magic missiles flying. From this, the classic love triangle and plenty of on-screen bitching. And when nerd supermodels fight, the magical weapons fly... and so does the mid-eval clothing. Woot.

So the title of the show, Double D&Ds. I know, misogynistic. And, mind you, guaranteed to get all you offended people to tune in just to be outraged. And in your outrage, you bitches better be watching those Jeep Wrangler: Black Ops Edition commercials. You know it.

Next time I'm back on here, I'll be swearing more and less inclined to talk about women or roleplaying. Usually I'm angry. But I feel so happy on these meds, I could marry a cat and canary right now. Thanks a bunch losers, and don't break the internet looking for pics of women riding the dragon. Perverts.