Bubbly Bigotry: Pepsi Max Edition

I drink Pepsi Max. Whoa. I was even drinking Pepsi Max during the Super Bowl to get a nice little caffeine buzz going. I mean, those 70 odd mg's of caffeine really help the football focus. So, anyway, there I am drinking this 70 mgs of caffeinated Pepsi Max goodness when there's a commercial about an angry black woman "accidentally" assaulting a white woman with a Pepsi Max while "innocently" attempting to domestically assault her beau into good dietary practices. This commercial is just not offensive, it is dangerous. I mean, first of all, is there a hidden vibe that black men cannot be with white woman, or said white woman will take a Pepsi Max to the torso? Secondly, how is it okay that men take abuse from women in this ad? As many on Youtube point out (a natural reservoir of untapped social commentary if you can get past the gay jokes and rampant geeking), if these roles were reversed and a man was throwing a Pepsi Max at his wife, it would be WRONG for a) suggesting hitting a woman is funny and b) suggesting that the woman should lose weight to please her man. But men are fatasses, so this is all good. And yes, I really just did do the PC argument even after my past rants.

I'm on my meds and I'm drinking a Diet Coke, so I'm running on more energy and goodwill than the whole internet was after each Sunday's Mully-Sculder will they bone or won't they sex flame war (EST 1995-2001). None of this is maximumly exciting, except the whole Mulder Scully sex farce bit and maybe the whole 0 carbs bit. And if you don't agree and actually think this ad was awesome, well you're a bad person and will burn in hell. And if you are an atheist, you will not get air conditioning this next summer. And finally, why is the in-shape black man getting yelled at for his diet in the first place? He looks like he could out run his wife, with enough time to spare to run to the Burger King and have it his way. So I'm guessing diabetes isn't the problem, or the Pepsi Max might not be the Holy Grail to imbibe with such gusto and *insert witty, condescending word here*.

And lastly, not all black women are violent and sassy. Yeah, sure, I find a sassy black woman has the potential to be funny. Don't we all? The same way Rosanne or a Tonka truck has the potential to be funny. And while we're at it, let's TRADEMARK "SASSY BLACK WOMAN (TM)" for a weekly comic strip. It might even be less repetitive than the jokes in Dilbert! But in the case of Pepsi Max, it isn't how much Sassy Black Woman you show, it's how psychopathic you make her. This Sassy Master drove her man to drink (Pepsi Max), assaulted a white woman, put her dietary values on others with violence, and fled a crime scene all in a very short window. Even in GTA San Andreas, it is difficult to screw the pooch that much in such a short window. I almost spit up the Pepsi Max, and not in a good sort of way. I'm pissed. And I haven't been drinking (for a change). Angry TV Maven out.