Celeb Showdown #1: Ryan Murphy vs. The Arcade Fire

"They’re not good people, that’s it." Vincent Moon uttered these harsh words in an interview when asked what happened to the Arcade Fire (http://www.eyeweekly.com/music/interview/article/110254). The band started as an indie juggernaut, lulling the hipsters into a fall sense of superiority. But now that they and their fans have been wearing those all-too-tight-jeans for seven years post-Funeral, circulation is finally starting to stop. And when you can't wiggle and jiggle, you become a tad prickly. I guess that's what Moon felt. Add the label "sellout" to their increasing ability to rival Adam Sandler assholedom, and you've got a indie diva hit squad ready to pump out the mediocre mellow mashups over and over. Let's put these douchebags in the right hand corner laddies and gentlemen.

And in the other corner, you have diva Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee and Nip/Tuck! BOO! As he gets hyped up on pcp, Murphy raves that Kings of Leon wouldn't appear on his sellout creation Glee. "Fuck you, Kings of Leon" warbles Murphy, wondering if he was clever enough with his ripostes that the far classier and witty band might appear on his shit show (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/kings-of-leon-vs-glee-nathan-followill-fires-back-at-ryan-murphy-in-homophobic-rant_n_814351.html). Glee, as Steve Nizer pointed out, is the type of show where Ryan Seacrest would fit in like dick in glove. Nip/Tuck was the start of this decent into melodramatic overkill. The surgeries, the drugs, the surgeries, the drugs. Wait, did I repeat myself? Sorry, I was trying to flirt with my shrink and got distracted. Anyway, Glee is self-indulgent, if not mildly enjoyable. And Ryan Murphy is the flamboyant supernova that explodes regularly, disintegrating all the decency around him on a weekly basis. Hallelujah.

So now that the both of our contestants are firmly douching it up in their disrespective corners, let's get these two misunderstood artists rumbling for the fun of mankind. That's right. Another reality show about a self-absorbed band past their prime and a gay showrunner who rumbles and tumbles if an autistic 10 year old gives him a funny look. They live together in a homeless shelter cum soup kitchen, doing the decency for the lowly commoners while behind the scenes they bitch about the conditions, and more importantly, each other. The winner gets to leave first and get back to making overrated crap. The other, *shiver*, has to stay until a celebrity jury made up of former reality tv stars determines that they have learned at least one important life lesson. It's terrible, it's degrading, it's educational. And it's great tv. Maybe not HBO. But HBO kinda is sucking ever since they cancelled Rome. Bastards.